to be continued

I wrote this post before Christmas and was too lazy to write more and then I was out of town for another week so I didn't have access right away and now that I have moved to a place where I do not have access to the internet, I have fallen behind. I apologize friends. But Im here now, Hey!

First off, Im sorry for not being on the ball and getting back to you sooner.
Ok. So I don't believe that we came from apes. As for the big bang, Im still wondering because I think that God could have used the "big bang" to create earth but Im going to be honest and say that I don't quite know. You wrote, "I don't know if I follow you...so even if you have done the worst of things God can take all of my bad...then I am just left with nothin?" Im not to sure I follow your question, but I will write out what I think You are asking.

Im pretty sure that God does not want us to do bad things, but at the same time he can't do anything about it because he created us with free will. If we as humans didn't have free will then we would be robots forced to follow our creator. Well, I guess God didn't like the fact that we could not choose to love/trust him so he created us with the ability to make our own decisions, ultimately wanting us to love him and thank him for life. The thing about God that makes him different from any other religion is that he welcomes each and every person with open arms. In the Bible it says that Jesus died so that all may be saved. Not just the Jewish people, but everyone from the murderer and liers to the preachers on Sundays. The Bible also says that Jesus died so that everyone's sins may be forgiven. This includes past, present and future. First you have to believe that Jesus was actually God just in a human body and then believe that he died and was resurrected from the dead to show that death could not hold God down.

That's what I got for now. Let me know what you think and ask more Q's. This is good because it keeps me on my toes :o)

Dear Anonymous

Wow. I'm not sure how to respond because I never think about other people just "stoping by" my blog. That's pretty cool though. I will definitly respond to you the best way I can.

God to me is the Creator of me and the Universe (He created the universe but wanted something that would respond back to him- hence creating me and other humans). We all have hope and faith in something. It is something God gave us when he created us, and was hoping that when we were old enough to understand what free-will was, that we would choose to have hope and faith in Him. God is the reason why I get up each morning and try to make the world that I encounter a better place. He is the only God (Compaired to other religions) who has come to earth (as Jesus Christ), lived with the human race (experincing hunger, pain happiness, joy, anger, compassion), died on the cross and then rises from the dead offering eternity to all who believe that Jesus was truely God in the flesh.
Before I accepted a life of trusting God, I lived with fear and hoplesness. I believed that I did not matter to anyone- not even my family. I believed the world wouldn't miss me if I didn't exsist. I didn't believe that someone could accept me with all my negativity, my stealing antics, my sailor's mouth and my broken (divorced) family. To Jesus, he accepted everyone from the religous leaders to the prostitutes, beggers on the street to Martha Stewart. I thought, "there might be something to this." So I looked into it more and discovered that someone cared about me and through that others cared about me (going to church) too. Everyone desires to be wanted and needed. God wants, desires to fill that need and want.

That's all for now. I don't really know where you are at Anonymous and I hope that this answers some questions and raises more questions. I also ask that my other friends that have some blogs help me out if I have said anything that isn't quite right and offer a little insight too. Let me know what you think (anyone). Be blessed y'all.

Tator tots and hotdogs

On a lighter note from the past few posts.

This "morning" (1230pm) 'Stina (one of my roommates) was taking a napoleon Dynomite Quiz she found from one of her friends. I took it too. Apparently I am UNcle Rico and she is Trisha. Well one of the questions asked what was our favorite food and tots was one of the options you could pick. Well, that led to the fact that I only had a french vanilla capp that I made around 1130am and I realized that I needed some lunch. Tator tots just really hit the spot. Stina and I were trying to figure out what went with tots. We decided hotdogs and mac n' cheese. I went to the store on a mission. Let me tell you! It was great. Definitely hit the spot.

This morning there was steam rising off the lake. It was so beautiful. I couldn't find a pic with steam coming off, so I figured this is where imagination could kick in.

I have realized that I don't write in my blog as often and I also have not been journaling as often either. Well, I have come to the conclusion from the help of my friend, that when God is expanding your heart as well as cleaning out rooms that we are ready for him to enter, it hurts. Who wants to write about pain? Who wants to write about the things that we have done and are embarrassed to confess? Who wants to write about things that show that we are not always "happy-go-lucky" sometimes we see ourselves covered from head to toe shameful?

I know many people in Duluth. I say hi to them at church, in the halls, at the mall. Sometimes we go out for a walk, coffee, a meal, play nintendo. but I can say that I have only let a handful of people inside my world. And even still, there are some of those that only know bits and pieces.
I have been realizing that I desire intamcy with friends. I see others help counsel each other, but yet I have been distant. Wanting, wishing to share life with them and also receiving from them their life experiences. But God has something else for me. Not that this desire is bad. He will provide in his time (This is an easy concept, but to truely believe it takes a great deal of faith for me) for me to share life with others, but for now I am accepting the time to receive.

What does that look like? Good question. I am being challanged with the thought : If I want to spend time with him, am I willing to give up all else for the persuit for him? This brings up my motives: Will me persuing him be to please him, or to trust him? Yes there is a diference.

Another incomplete thought. Love. It means so much yet has become perverted. I don't like to say it. I fumble the word when it comes out almost always wishing I didn't say it the second it leaves. If love means to trust, then I have a problem. I have started to be able to call God my Father despite the one who gave me my XY chromosomes. To tell God that I love him is a big deal and I am looking forward to the day when I can tell others I love them and not wish to take it back. To those few that know know me know that I love them, but I hope they are not offended if I never tell them.
Someday I will write more, but I am off to work.

Be Blessed, be loved, be lifted high,
be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to you my Lord,
Here I am
Knees to the earth