Me No Mas

OK WOW. God is awesome. I have found that as I draw closer to Him, I question more and more "Is this for real? Is this really happening? Am I in a cult?" Which is kinda scary to think since cults are kinda bad, restraining, opressing and certain things happen that seem alright at first but then you find yourself...captured. It'ss the only word coming to mind. But God is faithful and he knows what we think so he has been quick to answer my questioning. And revealing to me things that show He is real. There are some scriptures that show how Jesus, God in the flesh, knew what others were thinking like in Luke 5.21-22, "The Pharisees and teachers of the law began thinking to themselves... (22) Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked,'Why are you thinking these things in your hearts?..." How cool is that? As well as scary. It puts a new meaning to 'fearing the Lord'.

I fear him because I will be accountable to him on Judgement day and will my heart be pure before him? Will I offer him "works"? "But Jesus, I worked in youth group for a year; I went to church every Sunday; I was nice to everyone, a good person, and tried to keep peace between people; I made sure that if I was in a difficult situation with someone that it wasn't my fault...". Or will the trust that I have learned overcome the part of me that I feel I have to please him. Learning that pleaseing God comes from Trusting God has been so amazing instead of thinking that I want to please him by my works. Pleasing God seems like such a "me" metality. I have to please God- I have to cook for the pot luck, I have to voluteer at the shelter... and you get all these "in's" with the people in your church that you feel like you have accoplished something. At least that's the way I feel (I don't speak for everyone). It's just like pleasing people, or replace pleasing with serving, and serving can turn into works and then you can just check yourself into a mormon church because that's what they are about. So yeah, I don't really know where this whole "pleasing people vs God" came from but it's kinda cool.
When we trust God, we let him show us, me, what is best! not what is good or better. Holy buckets. This is the hardest thing for me- to let God show me what is best. (I mean come on, I think I know myself pretty well and can make my own decessions...). trusting him means that I believe what the Bible says is true and that if it what was said in 33 AD, 345 BC and 900 BC, it surely is applicable today dang it! Sorry, I just am passionate about wanting people to believe the Bible sstories and letters are still relivant today because God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

And this doesn't even pertain to what He showed me while I was at the OneThing Conference.

So needless to say, God is revamping me. Everything that I learned growing up is coming back around and is now being shaped by me and not by what others have told me. I am making it my own. It's pretty much awesome.