Who ordered sleep? Um...This girl.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!?!
How many people like sleep? I, for one, do. I haven't been able to sleep the past few weeks. Part of it is because I live next to a main road in Duluth and I have to sleep with my window open so I can get some fresh air flowing in, therefore, I hear a lot of noise as trucks and cars drive by. Another part is that I live next to a bunch of college people and they like to throw parties outside on the lawn and some people like to throw up at 2.45am or at least make the noise loud enough for me to hear it.
If there was anything that was stable in my life, sleep would be it. When I was tired of reading a book for class, I would sleep. When I would have a tough time either with a friend or family member, I would sleep. This isn't take-a-nap-in-the-middle-of-the-day sleep. This was go-to-bed- around-930-or-10pm-and-don't-move-once-until-your-alarm-wakes-you-up sleep. I would sleep so hard that I wouldn't ever remember my dreams.

So what's the big deal with me not being able to sleep? Sleep was my comfort. Like I said before, when I would have trouble with someone it would stress me out and the best way for me to deal with it was to sleep. It was the only time I knew my mind wouldn't think about whatever the situation would be. Sometimes I hoped that God would give me a dream to show me how to handle the situation, but if he did, I didn't remember it. Thinking about it now, it would have been too easy for me and I would continue to sleep and not face what was really going on. Another thing that happend when I would sleep was when I woke up. I thought that sleeping would fix the problem and that everyting would be fixed. That there would be nothing left to deal with. I have realized that thathas been my own "dream".

Through a "series of unfortunate events" (maybe they weren't unfortunate, but I wanted to use the title from the movie), God has been showing me that he wants me to turn to him for comfort.
Situations don't mageically disappear because Im not awake for them. That sort of thinking doesn't get you very far. God has been, like my friend Keely, breaking me.

Breaking misconceptions that I have accumulated over my life. Thoughts that start out like "well, Christians aren't supposed to..." "If Im a Christian, then I shouldn't feel a certain way" or "I shouldn't think certain things".
Since when did Christ-followers stop being human? Everyone makes mistakes. Look at Peter- He denied Jesus; David killed a man; Abraham laughed at God's promise of a child. Jesus was the only one to live a life of perfection.
A staff at Chi-Alpha, D-Lo, brought a word last night at Chi-Alpha. There is an Ideal out there that has set how people, society, should live. The media does a great job in picking out the "1 in a million" person and parading them on magazines, in the news, gossip shows- and in the back of many many people's minds, they are thinking "I will never be able to measure up to that". This brings along shame, worthlessness and as D-lo said, sotlen our uniqueness.
Hello! God created us in his freakin' image-Gen 1.26! Male and female alike. We posess qualities of God in our flesh. He created each one of use differently and also to compliment each other. Now the media is saying that "if we do these ten things then we could look like a celebrity", etc.
This is stealing our Joy- our true delight in who we are and were created to be. Wow, I think I could go on about this, but hopefully you get the point. any q's just ask me.

God is also breaking me from relying on other people and things. When the day was done, and it was time for bed, not even 10 minutes of prayer would last and I would hit my pellow[ ;o)] hard. But not any more! God is stiring me up. He is creating a passion in me. Im not too sure what he is doing, but hey, he's God. It has been causing me to turn to him for answers that I might and might not get. Going along with Keely again, I need to seek first His Kingdom, and then all other things will come into view the way God sees them. I want to have Christ-eyes and see things the way he does. I want my prayers to be the desires of his heart. get the focus off of me because it's about him.

So in a nut shell, what do you turn to for comfort? Is it God? Is it something that Draw's you closer to God? If you aren't sure, pray about it. He will let you know.

Peace.